It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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