Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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