mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize