Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
