I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
