I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
