Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
