rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
