Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just want to make out with him forever
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
