Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
