i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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