The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You have to summon your inner elephant
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
