He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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