this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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