i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
