I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
