it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
