As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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