I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
