Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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