I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
