since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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