My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
