after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
