haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
