I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize