it hurts more in the daytime
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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