my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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