We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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