Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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