Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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