I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
