At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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