Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
