Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
