Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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