Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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