At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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