i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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