Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I need moral support for this bender
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
