Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
