she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
not ubering you a puppy
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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