she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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