considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
