You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
