So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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