careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
