I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize