I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
