He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
