Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize