is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
