TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
