I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
