Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
