I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i think my cat just said my name.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
