It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Church boner. Awkwardddd
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
