i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
