I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
