it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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