Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize