the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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