I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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