Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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