did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
