Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
