I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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