Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
