I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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