was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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