sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
