I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize