can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
