the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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